Well, I'm probably to emotionally tied into to many TV shows to even think straight right now, but even so I am choosing to catch the few that read this up to the things in my life. Well... let me just get my TV show rants out of the way. Why on earth would they ever bring April into Luke’s life NOW, and why would he be such a jerk about it and push Lorelai so far away!? Why didn’t he accept Lorelai’s ultimatum. Jerk. Why don't writers ever put those who belong together... TOGETHER. Booth & Bones!? MAC & STELLA, shall I really start on Mac & Stella!? No... I won't. I have put my hope in the fact that the Mac/Stella/Adam "triangle" is like the Brooke/Peyton/Lucas triangle. This is all worthless nonsense though, let's move on.
Let's just dive right into the wrath I have burning in my heart right now. There are two wraths, actually. One, the wrath of Stephanie Harp. No, Stephanie Harp didn't put a label on me, don't worry. I love her to death, anyways, on with the anger. Why on earth would someone put a label on me!? It's just annoying, I don't want to be labeled, and it’s just so annoying, especially when the label is just completely ridiculous. I mean, it’s always bothered me when people call me ‘religious’, because quite frankly, that is not the right word. Now it’s just frustrating and it turns me away from people and ‘religiousness’. Well, wrath number two, myself. Since when am I the girl I never wanted to be? Let’s not get into that though. NO. Let's dig into it. Let's dig deep. I hate the girl I see when I look in the mirror now, my emotions are all over the place, I'm never stable and feel the one emotion I miss the most. Joyful. It only comes in waves, lonely waves that we're calling happiness. It's just... I know it's okay to be angry and to have emotions as a Christian, but things are wrong here. I just, love sinning more then I love God. That turns my heart upside down in my heart when I say that but that's the way I am acting. I don't like it. I don't think about God anymore, I mean I do, but not like I used to, not like I should. I just don't really know what to do because it hurts. I'm perfectly capable of being happy, it just never lasts. It's just not... right.
I’ve got a good pitch for the Good News Daily though. I am exhilarated when I say that I am going to be playing soccer this season. Yes, it’s going to suck with the headaches but this is worth it, it’s so worth it. If the pain is to much I’ll pull a Lucas Scott, but for now I’m going to do what I love. It was just perfect timing when I signed onto the website and realized that the last sign up was a day away. Glorious. I finally got some new medicine that I've heared works for a lot of people with chronic migraine headaches. (don't get me started on my chronic migraine headaches that occur when exerting physical activity rant) Of course, I've been perscribed over 6 medicatoins that have also helped others headaches, but hey. This could be the time! Seventh times a charm. No really, minus the sarcasm and everything, I really want this to work, so if you have any beleif in God himself and the power of prayer, please throw my name in there this time.. not only for the headache thing, just, everything. I havn't asked for prayer in a long time, because something's telling me I don't diserve it, and something else is telling me it doesn't work. I know better then that though...
This isn’t very… well written or anything because my emotions are all mixed up, but I don’t really have much control over any of that. This is just what I’m up to…
'just when things went right, doesn't mean they were always wrong...'
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